How to write a eulogy
Finding the words to say goodbye
How to Write a Eulogy
Writing a eulogy is one of those tasks no one feels ready for.
You may have stories in your heart, but no idea how to shape them. You may know what your loved one meant to you, but still feel stuck when you face the blank page.
That is normal.
A eulogy does not need to tell every part of a life. It only needs to offer a meaningful glimpse.
A memory.
A quality.
A thank you.
A goodbye.
That is often enough.
This page will help you understand the basic shape of a eulogy, so you can begin with more confidence.
Your free 7-step guide
Our step-by-step approach makes writing easier:
- Do your research – gather stories, quotes, and special moments.
- Choose your opening – a memory, a quote, or a heartfelt welcome.
- Think about your audience – what do they need to hear today?
- Share achievements or a short bio – the key milestones.
- Include family recollections – little stories bring a smile.
- End with a goodbye – a blessing, a wish, or a quote.
- Proofread and practice – read it aloud and mark pauses.
👉 Download our FREE 7-Step Guide
What should a eulogy do?
A eulogy helps people pause and remember.
It gives those gathered a sense of who the person was, what they valued, and why they mattered.
A good eulogy usually does three simple things:
- honors the person’s life
- shares something personal or meaningful
- offers a gentle sense of farewell
It does not have to be polished.
It does not have to sound like anyone else’s speech.
It simply needs to feel thoughtful, respectful, and true.
A simple eulogy writing structure
Most eulogies follow a simple shape.
You can think of it as:
1. The beginning
Introduce yourself and acknowledge the reason everyone has gathered.
This can be simple and warm.
You might briefly mention your relationship to the person and the feeling of the day.
2. The middle
Share a few memories, qualities, or moments that show who they were.
This is the heart of the eulogy.
You might include:
- what they loved
- what made them memorable
- how they made people feel
- a story that captures their character
- something they taught you
You do not need to include everything. One clear memory can be more powerful than a long list.
3. The ending
Close with a final message.
This might be a thank you, a farewell, a blessing, or a sentence about what you will carry forward.
The ending does not need to be dramatic.
It only needs to feel sincere.
What if I don’t know what to say?
Start smaller.
Instead of trying to write the whole eulogy, answer these three questions:
Steps 1 & 2: Research/Opening
Instructions:
- Choose your
favorite anecdote from your stand-out moment’s - Show the true and personal nature of your relationship with your loved one.
Step 3: Who is your audience?
Instructions:
Introduce yourself as not all attending the service may know you.
Eulogy Script:
I’m (Name’s) daughter/son/wife/husband for those of you who don’t know me.
Name touched the heart of all those she/he met, and I thank you all for being here to
Step 4: Write about achievements/a short bio
Instructions:
- Choose the starting point on your loved one’s timeline.
- Highlight the events that best reflects who he/she was and how others will remember him/her.
- Expand on events here
(if > 500 words)
For example, you may also add more school, university, career, family, community, sport, and retirement achievements
Eulogy Script:
(Name) was grew up in _____________.
As a warm, compassionate woman/man who always _______________ people naturally ______________.
With a passion for (life, art, sport, practical jokes), Name became known for _____.
Step 5: Family Recollections
Did/Said Instructions:
- Recall a short positive anecdote that captures your loved one’s character and their role in the family.
- Expand on heartfelt anecdotes here (but keep to your word limit.)
Eulogy Script:
Everyone’s experience of family and growing up is different. But the time I treasure most is when (name) did/said ___________________.
Step 6: The Closing Goodbye
Eulogy Script:
It’s hard to say goodbye and move on. But if we keep beautiful memories in our hearts, we can find comfort in our minds knowing (name) will always be with us.
As (name) always said, “______________” .
We all love you and will miss you dearly.
Step 7: Proofread
Instructions:
- Check dates and names are correct
- Assess the overall tone
Is the eulogy respectful, optimistic, heartfelt? - Ask a trusted family member or friend to read the eulogy
- Approve. Do all family members agree with/approve of the eulogy?
- Read the eulogy aloud and time
- Practice reading the eulogy aloud.
How long should a eulogy be?
- Target writing between 500 and 1000 words
- 500 words = 3 mins to read
- 1000 words = 7 mins to read
Anecdote = short interesting and positive story about a memorable incident involving your loved one.
Need examples before you write?
Sometimes it helps to see how other eulogies are shaped.
Our eulogy examples can help you find a tone, opening, or closing that feels right for your situation.
Button: View Eulogy Examples
When writing feels hard
Grief can make words feel heavy.
You may write a sentence and delete it. You may worry that you are saying too much, not enough, or not saying it well.
Please be gentle with yourself.
A eulogy is not a performance. It is an act of love.
You can write it slowly.
You can keep it simple.
You can ask someone to read it with you.
You can pause when you deliver it.
The words do not have to be perfect to be meaningful.
Writing for a complicated relationship?
Not every relationship is easy.
If the person who died was difficult, distant, or complicated, you may need a different kind of guidance.
You can still write something respectful without pretending the relationship was perfect.
Button: Writing a Eulogy for a Difficult Person
Want more help shaping your words?
If you would like more support our book How to Write a Eulogy for a Difficult Loved One gives you a fuller writing pathway, with prompts, examples, and gentle guidance for turning memories into a respectful, but honest tribute.
