When Jules from the Eulogy For Life team returned from her aunt’s funeral, she asked, ‘Who teaches us about grief?”
At the funeral service, Jules felt her aunt’s sudden passing was the first significant grief event for many of the young people attending.
“The young ones looked so bewildered and confused.”
Childhood lessons about grief
Ideally, as a child, a loving parent told us the truth about death when an elderly family member or pet died. Mom or dad used concrete words like ‘died’ rather than ‘passed away’. Moms read us age-appropriate stories about the finality of death. Questions like, “How does death make you feel?” kept our grief in the open. And no matter where our answers ventured, grief resilience-building advice was at the ready.
“Sadly, most of us didn’t have parents equipped to teach about death in that way,” comments Jules.
Too many of us sail into adulthood unprepared. Then one day death turns our life upside down. Someone we love dearly dies. Our sunny days turn into dark nights. We stumble forward with our arms outstretched hoping to feel our way along the walls to the door – or until we find the light switch. Meanwhile, bills arrive, the family needs feeding, and our job demands productivity.
“It’s hard to find your way out of grief’s darkness,” says Jules. “If only someone could read adults healing stories about death.”
Healing stories about grief
The healing stories we need; the ones that give us the courage and strength to deal with death without life falling apart live within us. But accessing them takes focus.
For those of us in the Western world keeping grief in check by drawing on the positive memories isn’t easy. Yet, research shows positive recollections create physical and mental health benefits. Visualizing departed loved ones happy in the Afterlife takes work, yet it allows us to plan a new future. Believing their biggest joy is us smiling and laughing again takes faith.
Despair and heartache will stop us in our tracks after the death of a loved. That is certain. Yet, by drawing the courage we need from positive memories, we heal from within while showing children how to grieve a loss without letting life fall apart.
Who can help you grieve until happy arrives?
- Your doctor
- A trained bereavement counsellor
- Positive people who can recall lovely stories about your departed loved one
- Positive, understanding colleagues who keep you on task and focused at work
Healing From Grief by Denise Gibb
This book is the idea grief recovery companion for anyone who has lost a beloved spouse, partner, family member, child or friend.
Filled with uplifting healing affirmations and heartfelt pictures – Healing From Grief inspires healthy grief behavior by drawing on loving memories.
How does grief affects our brain?
Grief is an incredibly complex process that affects different people in different ways. We often refer to ourselves as being heartbroken after the death of a loved one, yet it might be more accurate to say ‘brain broken’. Watch this video to find out more.